Controversy on Married at First Sight

One of the biggest stories that everyone is talking about in Australia and the moment has to do with Married at First Sight. If you have never heard of the show or you have never seen the show, the premise is that experts put total strangers together to see if they can stay married or if it’s going to fail based on personality traits, etc. Or in my own own words, people create arranged marriages and see what drama is going to unfold.

If you can’t already tell, I’m not a fan of this show. I watch the Kardashians, Gogglebox and a few other reality TV shows, but I don’t watch Married at First Sight or the Bachelor or any shows that have that same kind of theme. I find those kinds of shows to be a huge mockery of marriage and love, so they don’t interest me at all.

Depsite my views on the show, my interest was piqued this week when Married at First Sight came up on Twitter’s trending page for Australia. Curious, I clicked and watched the 30-minute clip of one of the experts, Mel Schilling, calling out a man by the name of Bronson for calling his “wife” Ines and cunt because of how she was acting. Based on that 30-second clip that Channel Nine had put out, I was willing to back Schilling because I did agree that calling someone a cunt for no reason is not on in my book. I also agreed with her that Bronson needed to learn how to talk to women.

Then I did what I normally do and I started to scroll down to see what other’s thoughts were and I saw tweet after tweet defending him. It took me a while before I found a tweet that explained everything.

And I had to watch the episode.

It was hard to watch but I made it through and suddenly I found myself switching sides. Over the course of the wedding and the honeymoon, Ines was really horrible to Bronson. She was constantly swearing at him and belittling him over the course of the week and it seemed as if on the night he called her a cunt, he’d just had enough of her behaviour.

He called her a cunt once and was called out on national television. Ines on the other hand was given a pass.

I got mad. I really did. It seemed like such a double standard to me that Bronson was called out on his one comment and Ines, who had done a lot more, was allowed to just sit there and watch as Bronson was lectured on how he spoke to women. It seemed ridiculous to me that this was even happening.

Over the past few days I have been watching things unfold. Since the episode aired, many people have called for Shilling to be taken off the show. I was willing to agree with that point of view until I was looking into things today and learn that Schilling and the other experts are not privy to the footage is done outside of certain segments of the show. At the time she made those comments, she had no idea that Ines had been acting how she was acting. Her comments were based solely on what she had seen earlier. She saw that Bronson had made a disgusting comment and she decided to call him on it.

Knowing that information now, I can understand why she did what she did but it brings up more questions for me.

Why aren’t the experts looking at all the footage? If they were truly trying to use this as a social experiment, wouldn’t it make sense that they see all the footage in order to truly understand the decisions behind them staying or leaving? It just seems stupid that that is not the case. If experts are able to watch five-year-olds to better understand how they think on The Secret life of Five-Year-Olds then surely the experts on this show should be able to watch everything on Married at first sight. Surely that would give them better insight into whether their social experiment is a success or not? It would also allow people to see that the experts aren't being biased.

While I don’t think at this point in time that Schilling should be fired, I do think what the experts are seeing should be changed so they can get the full picture. I also think that in the next episode something needs to be done to address what had happened. Right now Channel Nine is in damage control and unless they do something people are going to continue believing that Schilling is biased.

The only bright side I’m really seeing to this whole thing is that have actually started people talking about domestic violence against men.

When we look at Domestic Violence, we tend to focus more on women and children being the victims and men being the abusers. We don't often see campaigns where women are the abusers. While statistically women and children are more likely to be victims, we also have a problem with men not reporting abuse against them in the home or any abuse against them that isn't physical (punches, etc).

In case you're wondering, I'm not going to watch any more Married at First Sight. I still have no interest in the show for reasons that I have already stated and this episode has not inspired me to want to watch any more. I will, however, be watching Twitter to see if things end up being rectified in the next episode.

Until next time,

(aka - Sophie)

REVIEW | A Sucky Love Story: Overcoming Unhappily Ever After by Brittani Louise Taylor

This post contains affiliate links.

Picture Credit: Goodreads

Name: A Sucky Love Story: Overcoming Unhappily Ever After
Author: Brittani Louise Taylor
Edition Read: Kindle
ASIN: B07JPXVGFQ

Summary: Where does a moderately popular internet star who never leaves her house look for potential suitors? Online. Tinder, Bumble, Match.com, OkCupid—I tried them all. My thirty-one-year-old self clicked and swiped her little heart out, leading to more dates than I could count, and more disappointment than I was prepared for.

Maybe you can relate. Maybe you know all too well the perils of modern dating. But let’s say, eventually, you meet someone. You think to yourself, “Wow, they’re perfect! Take me off the market, put a ring on it, knock me up, the whole enchilada, because they are ‘the one.’” Let’s also say that they “feel the same way” about you. Your life starts to make sense! All the pain, heartbreak, and frustration from past failed relationships was worth it. Slow clap.&nbsp

That’s how I felt about Milos. He was from Europe, a doctor, wealthy, athletic. He had an accent and a dog. Milos was textbook marriage material.

For him it was “love at first sight,” but for me, it was “anxiety on every date.”

Something was telling me to run—but for two years, the only running I did was straight into his arms.

If only I would have listened.

This isn’t a love story.

It’s my story of survival.

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When people think Domestic Abuse, they immediately think physical. Mental and emotional sometimes don't come into consideration. This book shows that Domestic Abuse isn't always about the physical and that sometimes it's the mental and emotional abuses that take the longest to heal.

This book is a very easy read. I did it in a little over 3 hours. That being said, the book itself is a great retelling of the before, during and the aftermath of an abusive relationship.

I don't want to go into the writing style and critique it, the reason being that when it comes to biographies like this one, critiquing the way it is written is kind of silencing what is being said. However, if you're familiar with Brittani's vlogs on YouTube than you'll see a lot of her style of talking included in the book. From the way she describes things to how it is written. Everything about this book is Brittani and that's why I liked it as much as I did. She didn't try and change how she would have told the story if she was face to face with you.

The beginning of the book is a little slow but not enough that it made me stop reading. She explains what happened that lead her to discover Milos on Tinder, the process of them dating and then it ramps up. As the story progresses you begin to see things unfolding and happening that you didn't expect and by the end, you're left dumbfounded. Parts of what happened read like a typical domestic abuse situation and then there are lies and stories told that seem so far-fetched that if it was a script for a movie producers would think it was too over the top.

As I said earlier I read this book in a little over three hours but I think it would have taken me less time if I hadn't started reading it on my lunch break at work. And after reading the book I can completely understand why she was as secretive about what happened and not only for legal reasons.

I can't go into too much detail without giving spoilers and I don't want to do that, but if you were looking for a book for your teenager to read to understand how abusive relationships can be, this would be an excellent one to point them to. The language in it isn't too over the top and the descriptions aren't too in depth. Just be aware that Brittani does detail the abuse she went through and there are sexual encounters described as well.

I honestly have nothing more than I can say on the book other than I think it's something people should read, not just because it has an amazing message but because it just shows that you don't know what it happening behind closed doors.

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If you're interested in reading A Sucky Love Story then click the link and it'll take you right to the Amazon page. Please be aware that this is an affiliate link so I do get a little kickback from it.

Before I close this off, just in case anyone is interested, I am on Goodreads. You can keep up to date with what I'm reading to the left or you can check out my profile here.

Until next time,

(aka - Sophie)